Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
