bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
