He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
