I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
