I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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