Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
