brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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