Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
