Swine flu. Run for my life!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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