he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
