Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
