never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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