you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
