so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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