But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
