I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We're too hungover to prance.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize