I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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