I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
