watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
