youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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