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• (254): View more from Texas

  I am coming home for anal

  (254): View more from Texas

  * a nap*

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• (714): View more from California

  found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

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• (716): View more from New York

  Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"

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• (850): View more from Florida

  hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.

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• (310): View more from California

  Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES

  (301): View more from Maryland

  N O

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