do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
