Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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