WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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