I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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