he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
