I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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