she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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