overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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