When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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