i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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