I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
