I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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