Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
