i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
