WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize