i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
