As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
