The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We need to rekindle our bromance
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
