Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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