So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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