I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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