I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize