omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
