You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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