Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize