I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
