it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
