i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
