i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
