Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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