i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
