Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
