2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
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