my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
