standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
