but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
