my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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