Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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