there's paper in my vomit.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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