I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
