Can i not drive my cunt home
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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