On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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