Banned from zoo.
Again?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
