Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
