dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I will pee on everything he values.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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