So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
