I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
