Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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