Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
