My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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