I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
